From my eyelashes to my toenails, I’m exhausted,
I never expected it, but I’m even lost in myself,
I’m so lost in the barren lands of your heart,
I’m exhausted in this difficult love,
I’m powerless, faithless like a nihilist,
Like a vagabond, I have no future, who is the cause of this?
How many solstices have passed without you, my dreams, my mornings,
My fantasies, my nights, my vigils without you,
My meals, my feelings without you,
And finally, look; I’m without you, you’re without me,
The biggest mistake of your life; A fool like me
I want to be buried without prayers, without a shroud…
“Neither come to my death nor to my life, put whoever you want in my place”
your words constantly echo in my ears
Look, now without you, my ears and my lips
My soul, my body, my being are without you
I am melting away so miserably, so silently…
There is a feeling of orphanhood in my wretched heart, clearly
I felt it for the last time when my mother died, I was over fifty years old
And also, on the last Wednesday when separation descended
My heart always said, it’s all because of love, smell the rose, don’t be deceived by its thorns
Now, what made orphanhood possible?
I am in the fire of love,
My love is in the market of those without a tomorrow…
What I have lived through is very, very heavy
My heart is deaf to everything
I hear nothing
I don’t sleep, I don’t forget that ominous night…
O heart!
You who faced everything,
Why did you suddenly wither away?
Your heart was so strong, wasn’t it?
Tell me, how did you melt away so suddenly?
The sapling you nurtured in the barren lands of your heart,
Did it become thirsty when the pot broke?
You always gave life-giving water to the sapling,
Now, has your heart suddenly become a desert?
Okay, it’s too small for your heart, the damage is too severe,
Your heart clearly doesn’t hear, it’s deaf to everything,
Then make your inner voice heard, shout even louder,
Perhaps the angel Erato will come, but still call out,
Do ask;
Will you overcome the thirst of your sapling?
Or will you live like a desert rose?
Will you exist like a phoenix?
Or will you dry up and fade?
Do ask…
English Translation by Mesut Şenol